The Ethics of Time Travel

Not to be confused with “The Philosophy of Time Travel“.

Aboot a year ago I wrote some musings about time travel and its implications here.

I like what I wrote there, and I stand by it, as much as it is possible to stand by such nonsense. Last night during Outstanding Vessel XLIV  some friends and I had a funny thought:  The only group who have yet to harness the power of time travel is the NFL. It guards this secret closely and uses it only for the judging of too-close-to-call plays.

How I imagine this would work is thus:  Close play occurs, refs talk it over. if the play is under review, the head ref goes to his enclosed “camera booth” and pinpoints the location to have been standing to know definitively the outcome of the play. Once the location is determined, he is transported back in time to that exact spot, and carefully re-witnesses the play. Upon its conclusion he is automatically transported back to the booth in live time and emerges with the correct call. Everybody back home is happy.

However, the dimension that he just visited is immediately thrust into chaos. Millions of Americans who just witnessed a man appear and disappear on the football field are questioning their existence and calling their congressperson. In order to protect their secret, the NFL installed self destruct mechanisms on not only the time travel equipment but within everyone who knows about the system. Tiny capsules attached to the aortas of the ceos and all the referees of the league release a toxin that administers death immediately, painlessly, and in a manner that will resemble the heart attack that they were all slated to perish from anyways. The time travel equipment explodes in fiery booms of plutonium and flux capacitance.  The world, or should i say, A world is thrust into a disastrous spiral, likely ending in cannibalism and bad attitudes.

But at least we got the call right.

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Wonderful Wednesday: Covers (Dylan)

Bob Dylan has been a favorite of mine as far back as I can remember.

Dylan album cover (photo by the incomprable Bruce Davidson)

Dylan album cover (photo by the incomprable Bruce Davidson)

Though I’ve had my own personal struggles with the music from time to time, but there is just so much wealth within it that I always return.  It’s no secret that I’ve been stuck on covers recently, so I decided to give the kid from Duluth the treatment.  It’s pretty easy to find great Dylan covers (just check out the soundtrack for I’m Not There, it’s fantastic) so I tried to stay out in left field with these.

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Smorgasbord. Mish-mash. Gallimaufry.

Get ready, here we go:

In honor of my final day of work here in New Braunfels, a poem:

Your townies are sad

Your fake German culture is ‘wurst

Schlitterbahn sucks brat’

Forgive me if I forget to notice passing exits 184-187 for the rest of my life.

Mixtape

I made a “Best of” mixtape for the year ending 2009! You should download it and listen to it while you read about a whole bunch of depressing shit below…..or just download it and listen to it.

I’d be lying if I said I stayed hip to all these songs as they were released. I basically downloaded the best of lists from several prominent blogs, and filtered out what I enjoyed the most until I cracked the soon to be trivial 80 minute mark. YOU SEE WHAT I DO FOR YOU?

playlist

I thought it needed color....

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Wonderful Wednesday: The Emerald Isle

In the 1800s, Ireland experienced mass emigration.

Those Irish eyes are smilin, Jay...

Those Irish eyes are smilin, Jay...

It is estimated that two in five Irish born people were living abroad. This massive migration of souls created a lasting societal impact in Ireland as well as here in America. A large piece of that impact is the musical legacy left behind by these millions of traveling souls.

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The Biggest Story of the NBA season thus far.

delicious and deadly

delicious and deadly

Hello there chilluns. It’s been two weeks. I have been in bed for two weeks mulling over the National Championship game. I would still be there, but the artificial cheese dust from the puffy cheetohs i was subsisting on had begun to cause an allergic reaction with my retinas (wiping tears from one’s eyes and eating artificial cheese powder products are a dangerous combo – tell your family).

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Wonderful Wednesday: Covers, Round Two

As was noted last week, I love covers.

Josh Ritter not only performs wonderful covers, but is my financial rep's doppleganger

Josh Ritter not only performs wonderful covers, but is my financial rep's doppleganger

This week, I’m returning for round two and featuring artists whose first name starts with the letter J.  Arbitrary? Slightly.  But when staring at a wealth of material, it’s tough to pick out songs to highlight.  The letter J just so happened to become my escape hatch while compiling this post.  Once I decided on J, I had to whittle the selections down even further.  I ended up with three songs that go from good to great like a staircase.  Check them out.

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Wonderful Wednesday: Covers

I love covers.  They don’t always live up to the predecessor, but they are great <snaps fingers repeatedly> conversation stimulaters!  Whether its Hendrix charging Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower” with a fierce charge of electricity or Ben Folds slyly ironic take on “Champagne Supernova,” covers leave the listener with something to think about.  Today, I’ve included just a few that I adore.

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The Tilted Pylon: Championship Recap

I’m writing this now (and by myself) because I know it will be virtually impossible to get Bjorn’s added opinion in a timely fashion.  Hell, I barely have it together enough to proffer my timely opinion.  Texas has just lost the championship and it was done in an excruciatingly heartbreaking fashion.

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The Tilted Pylon: Championship Preview

After weeks and weeks of waiting, the big game is finally upon us.

The Mystery Midget is Going Down

The Mystery Midget is Going Down

Soon the talk of who is better will give way to the actual on-field results.  And though the talk has been incessant, we figured you kids might want just a bit more perspective on the Championship match-up between the Horns and the Crimson Tide.  Today we break down the individual unit match-ups.

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Wonderful Wednesday: The Open Road

Though it was a bit selfish, I took a road trip across the southwestern expanses of America instead of going home for Christmas.

And we sailed on into the mystic...

And we sailed on into the mystic...

Around 3,500 miles were churned up over an eight day period.  From dive bars in Redondo Beach to dirt roads leading to an illusive “Hole in the Wall” in the Mojave Desert to sledding down snow covered sand dunes in New Mexico, miles were covered and immense levels of fun were had.  This portion of Wonderful Wednesday is a salute to these adventures, a salute to our December excursions in the west.  It is a salute to Manifest Destiny.

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