February 26, 2009

Cats – They won’t pay Rent

By Matt Clark
i hope one day my cat will be chasing the monsters

i hope one day my cat will be chasing the monsters

I’ve been entertaining the idea of getting a cat recently.  Mainly because they tend to be low maintenance and I want my dog to have a buddy to pal around with at times.  In researching cats, I’ve determined that cat people are many things: crazy, eccentric, loving, terrible at names, and love to talk as if they are a cat and understand what they are thinking.  When chatting with Bjorn on the matter we came to a conclusion that a badass cat is necessary, but not TOO badass.  You don’t want to come home to all your belongings gone because your cat decided he wanted to support his meth habit with your things (I looked up some stuff on the Abyssinian breed):

9:28 AM me: haha
9:30 AM Bjorn: “they are sensible cats that do not take unnecessary risks”
9:31 AM where can one get the wild risk taking cat?
9:33 AM me: fuck…i need a badass cat, not a sensible cat
9:34 AM Bjorn: ha, “this cat has been known to walk across fire, play russian roulette, and over draw his checking account”

I came across all kind of fun things when looking for the best cat.  And to be honest, I’m no closer to deciding if a cat is right for me or what breed would be best with my dog and my lifestyle.  I like the Abyssinian, Tortoise Shell and your regular Tabby so far.  They seem to all have good temperaments too.  Does anyone have any suggestions for badass cats?  I need a cat capable of leaping far, killing small animals, being good company and hanging out with a big 65 pound Lab.  I found a few highlights of people talking like idiots and some of the worst names I’ve ever seen.  Like the cat named Mouse who is “the biggest, blackest mouse you have everr seen! My name is Mouse because I have the quietest little voice…it is almost like a sigh!”  Cat people…

So what is a good cat breed out there?


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  • Kevin
    It is a crapshoot with cats. I have two cats, a tortoise shell and a black one. I love the tortie, and I go back and forth between loving the black one and wanting to throw it against the wall because it has destructive tendencies. My Aunt has two Abyssinian and they are badass but I haven't been around them enough to try to get them to walk across fire or eat swords or anything cool like that.
    My advice: get a cat from the shelter, the younger the better. If it gets along with Max, cool. If it doesn't jump on everything and want to rip stuff and break fragile glass objects even better. If it is terrible pillow case it and throw it in the nearest lake/pond and try again. Or have Selah move in, but he is much larger than a cat and likes making too many rules.
  • s
    Does anyone want a kitten, by the way?
  • SGNY
    Man, I was talking about getting a cat yesterday when someone told me that if you die, a cat will only wait 2 days before it eats you! That lab of yours would probably wait 2 weeks.

    Think about it.
  • skip, say myow!
  • skip
    I think instead of getting a cat you should give me free rent. i will keep max entertained, i am fairly clean and do not cough fur balls, and I probably* won't steal all your shit and sell it for meth. plus i am toilet trained, which is way better than a litter box.

    *this is not currently a risk, but i cannot see the future.
  • I would get a cartoon cat if possible or an imaginary cat even better.
  • imattclark
    I've decided with imaginary cat for now.
  • Drewsance
    I vote Javanese or Russian Blue. Or a random kitten from a rescue. Kiffen!
  • domestic short hair...which means not the Abyssinian. But this is because they're fairly hearty and can put up with the dog...but only if you get A) an adult that likes dogs or B) a kitten.

    Our vet office has 2 cats--the grey tabby loves dogs, and the tortoise shell hates them. They were about 4 weeks old when they were snagged from the feral population by the vets. Between our two cats, the female will put up with dogs (meaning she generally will ignore them unless she feels threatened) while the male hates them and gets all poofy around itty bitty puppies that he could probably kill. Also, the female kills rodents, lizards and birds while the male kills lizards but has no idea what to do with a bird or a mouse.
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