Granted, I was somewhat prepared for the loss once Colt went down on the first offensive series, but it was how things fell apart for Texas that was especially hard to deal with.  There hasn’t been such a violent swing from joyous celebration to confused disapointment in Texas fandom since the infamous Texas Tech game last year.  And yeah, I know bringing that up now is like throwing a giant case of Morton’s on a fresh wound, but I’ve got close to a dozen Bud’s under my belt.

Simply speaking, however, that is exactly what happened.  We were exposed to such joyous promise and then returned, via a vicious stomach punch, to a calamitous reality…a vomit inducing reality.

The game was stacked with “what if” scenarios.  From the inexplicable decision to press forth at the end of the first half to GG’s numerous forays into multiple coverage, the entire offensive strategy sans Colt was a giant “WTF!?!!?!” moment.

As a Texas fan, these offensive woes are evident, but they don’t quite stick in your craw.  It’s seeing things like that pompous (and still aggravatingly undefeated) McElroy jumping around at the end of the game as if he actually did something to warrant this victory.  The boy didn’t do shit beyond get his ass sacked with regularity and benefit from having a pubescent male as his quarterbacking opposition.

Who knows how the supposed “experts” will label this game.  Most likely they’ll trumpet some aspect of the game that was either unimportant, i.e. McElroy’s play, or something that was only of consequence courtesy of McCoy’s injury, i.e. “Texas just couldn’t move the ball.”

I’m definitely a Texas fan.  I’ve never tried to hide that.  But as a football fan, looking at the outcome, you have to be deeply dissatisfied.  And no, that dissatisfaction shouldn’t come from the final score, but the ending score: 24-21.  You can’t help but think, “what if,” on everything from that damned shuffle pass to the dropped TD in the second quarter.

As a sports fan, there is no worse fate than “what if,” but that is exactly where we are left as Texas fans…smack dab in the middle of what if.  And that, my friend, is a bitch of a place to be on a cold ass night in Austin.

The Mystery Midget is Going Down

Soon the talk of who is better will give way to the actual on-field results.  And though the talk has been incessant, we figured you kids might want just a bit more perspective on the Championship match-up between the Horns and the Crimson Tide.  Today we break down the individual unit match-ups.

SEC v. Big 12

Peter: Growing up in SEC country, I was supplied with a steady dose of just how great everything SEC was.   These sorts of gauges are tricky so a lot of it went in one ear and out the other. Though the conference records are damn close to equal this year, the SEC is up 2-0 on the Big 12 in head-to-head games.  That has to give one pause when looking at this particular game.

Bjorn: This was a terrible year for this comparison, OU had their least relevant year since I started watching college football, Texas Tech went back in the closet (or storage shed, whatever), and Oklahoma State starts the year by losing their best player to neon deion and losing their title hopes to the Houston Cougars. Meanwhile in the SEC things were pretty potent. Georgia, Arkansas, LSU, and Tennessee are 4 teams, while excruciatingly manic, who could match up with anyone at home. Also, after seeing the rest of the bowl games played out, Florida is the clear and present 3rd best team. It was the SEC’s year.

McCoy v. McElroy

Peter: I know this McElroy cat hasn’t lost a game as a starter, but that says as much about the team that surround him than it does him personally.  Forgive the subtly, but I’m saying that I’d take Colt every day of the week before McElroy.  (Excuse me while I channel some ESPN chaunch analyst like Mark May) Colt’s a gamer. He finds ways to win whether it’s with his legs or his arms.  He might not be the biggest cat out there. He might not have the strongest arm, but he takes care of business when he has to.  I think Texas has a large advantage here.

Bjorn: Yea, no one except the most hard core charmin fan would claim there is even a comparison. I have utmost respect for QBs who learn to not make mistakes and let their great teams win, as that is precisely what Bama asks from him. Like Vince Young before him, if the Longhorns want it, they need Colt to go out and get it. Let’s hope he does his best billy madison: “Oh I can, and I will”

Ingram & Co v. Newton & Co

Peter: As much as I love the Longhorns, Alabama clearly has the edge here.  It might not turn out that way on the field, but it’s the plain facts.  Ingram almost matched the Horns rushing output himself this year.  When you figure in Richardson and Upchurch, both quality backs, the total yardage separation between the teams gets a bit ugly.

Bjorn: Ingram is a beast behind a quality run blocking line. Texas – pass:run::4:1. It’s not really even a comparison. Until greg davis goes bye bye, or until we get another freak (VY) that forces his stupid hand to use the option, pretty much every team we meet in a big bowl will have a better running game than us.

Jones & Co v. Shipley & Co

Snatching Balls

Peter: Other than the defensive prowess of each squad, I don’t know of a more evenly matched unit breakdown.  To be certain, the make-up of the particular sides are vastly different, but each productive in their own ways.  Jones is a man beast with great size, speed, and hands.  He is going to be a very tough man to defend.  What I think gives Texas the edge is the receiving depth.  Sure, there is a great fall off in yardage/production when you get past Shipley, but it is thickly spread throughout several reliable receivers.

Bjorn: Julius Jones is a top 5 WR in College football, and Peek is a giant man with soft hands, but after that their corp isn’t much to speak of. Texas goes 5 deep on speedy 6’2 – 6’4 guys who are testaments to precision route running and hella YAC.

Offensive Line

Peter: After watching Texas struggle against Nebraska, there really can’t be an argument that they are better off in this department than Alabama.  If anything worries me about this game, it’s how they respond after getting consistently chewed up by Nebraska.

Bjorn: This game is going to be won at the line, especially the Texas offensive line. Their showing against Nebraska was pitiful. I hope they hand bathed Colt in olive oil after that pathetic display, because they were just bad. Alabama by a country mile.

Defensive Line

Peter: This is a tough one.  They are both highly talented units.  Call me a homer, but I think Texas is better off, even with the presence of Mt. Cody on the Bama line.  While this was one of our biggest question marks entering the season, I think the line has turned into one of our biggest strengths.  Time and again they have shown that they are just plain better (praise  be to Muschamp) than their opponents.

Bjorn: The Alabama defensive line is over rated. I wish I could say this led me to be confident in our ability to hold them, but see point above. Skill and speed wise, Texas advantage, but again the Kindle and Co. are facing a faster and more skilled Bama O-line.  Should be interesting to see who of these 4 units over achieves.

Let's put a smile on these faces, boys

Linebackers

Peter: There is one man that makes the difference in this comparison and it’s Rolando McClain.  He (along w/Javier Arenas) officially scare the bejeezus out of me.  McClain is definitely the most talented player on the Tide and can really cause some headaches.  Let’s hope that Greg Davis figures out a way to neutralize his presence.  Otherwise it will be a long game for the Horns.

Bjorn: I agree 100%. Texas is solid in this department, but no standout play makers. McClain is so fast for his size, it doesn’t make sense. He could play any position on the defense.

Defensive Backs

Peter: Even with the very adept Arenas in Alabama’s defensive backfield, Texas definitely has the advantage here.  Tossed into the fire as youngsters last year, the unit has responded admirably.  They lead the nation in interceptions and should have plenty of opportunities to shine come Thursday night.

Bjorn: This matchup mirrors that of the receivers, while Arenas may be the brightest NFL prospect, Texas has too many guys with too much speed. I look for them to completely remove the Alabama passing game.

Special Teams

Peter: I’ll call this one a draw. Both teams have very accurate kickers and solid return games.  What may set Texas apart slightly is their ability to pressure punts.  Very few teams have been as successful at this as Texas and it very well could be a difference maker in this game.

Bjorn: You have to give props to a team (dude) who blocked 2 fgs in one game. That was amazing. Our return game has played a role in the big games the past 2 years, and Peter mentioned our punt pressure. The horn’s kickoff coverage needs to be better than it was against aTm, but unless there are FGs and fumbles, I don’t see this aspect being a deciding factor.

Seriously, who is this guy?

Summation and Prediction

Peter: I’ve been saying it for weeks, but I like Texas in this game.  I was relieved when Alabama beat Florida.  In my opinion, Texas matches up better against the Tide than they would have Florida.  There are a few reasons why, but first among them is Will Muschamp.  For those that read Sports Illustrated, you probably saw that Austin Murphy has already made this argument in favor of Texas.  And though he beat me to the print punch, I’ve been making the argument for weeks now.  Muschamp eats vanilla offensive schemes for lunch…and it simply doesn’t get more vanilla than Bama.  They rely on a power run game and occasionally take deeper shots down field (hence Bama’s low yardage total in passing/receiving, but the high yards-per-reception number for most receivers).  Nothing plays into Muschamp’s hands better.  I think he’ll focus on stopping the run and forcing the often shaky McElroy to make plays.  With an equally adept defense on the other end, there is a high probability that it won’t  be a pretty game, but I think Texas will get by with a victory.  If there is one think I’ve learned as a rabid college football fan, it’s never trust the status-quo.  Every one can’t seem to stop talking about how Alabama will win.  This talk seems largely based on how Texas looked in the Nebraska game.  Everything is what have you done for me lately.  The focus is not on how much Bama struggled against Tennessee or Auburn even, but how much they dominated Florida.  As a Longhorn fan, I’m glad the Nebraska game was close.  I like coming in as an underdog.  If I were a Bama fan and heard everyone talking about how/why the Tide would win, I’d be scared.

Bjorn: The UT defense is strongest when opponents run it through the gaps, and when they throw it over the top. It is weakest when the QB is rolling and hitting horizontally cutting receivers. Alabama does all of the former none of the latter. No one in the SEC plays Texas’ style of offense, however a great pass will give the Bama defensive backfield the help it needs. I believe the Alabama offense will struggle for 200 total yards against a defense that (as Peter stated) salivates at their ideals. Period. I would believe the Texas offense sputtering for the same amount, or exploding for 500+. It all depends on UT’s offensive line. If their trial by fire against Demon Suh and his minions toughened them up, Texas by a couple of touchdowns. If once again colt gets sewn into the soil like the manure of his namesake, Texas by a FG. Either way, HOOK EM!

We're always good for 6

That is to say, the games folks really seem to care about.  Sure, the Christmas bowl season is great and all, but they are really watched because nothing else is on television.  The good programs are all on break and you don’t want to re-watch that damned BB gun movie, so sure you flip over to see the Meineke Car Care Bowl.  The same can’t be said for the January bowls.  Whether it’s the historic Rose Bowl or the fabled Cotton, these games beckon viewers by simply existing.

Anxiously Awaiting

Peter: The obvious choice here is the National Title game.  With that said, there are a half dozen games I’m very ready to watch.  In particular, I’m interested to see the Ohio State v. Oregon match-up.  The Buckeye defense has been pretty solid all year, so I’m anxious to see how Jeremiah Masoli and the high flying Ducks offense performs against the boys from Middle America.

Showing off a sampling of possible Duck uniforms for the Rose Bowl

Bjorn: My first inclination is to pick whatever game TCU is involved in, but they are playing a fellow non major conference foe in Boise St. which really ticks me off. I would have loved to see them take a crack at a big namer. With things the way they be, I’d rank the games 1. National Ship 2. Oregon – THE osu 3. everything else.

Most Exciting Game

Peter: Despite the fact that these two teams are smaller market and don’t exactly get the exposure of someone like Florida or USC, I don’t think there will be a better game for your money than TCU v. Boise State.  Anyone lucky enough to watch them duke it out last year can attest to the excitement.  It was hands down the best bowl game last year and I think there’s every reason to believe that this year’s match-up will be just as exciting.

Bjorn: I think florida and cincy should beat the over. Cincinnati has got a legit o, florida’s pass defense was very weak the last game, and florida still has some awesome players.

Most Depressing Game

Peter: The award for most depressing game in a post new year’s bowl goes to the Papa John’s Bowl match-up between South Carolina and UCONN. I mentioned in a previous post that I thought Randy Edsall was the coach of the year in college football.  This shouldn’t take away from that.  It’s simply a reflection of the style of play these two teams have.  Spurrier has by and large abandoned (or lost?) his penchant for high octane offense, while Edsall preaches a defense oriented, ball control game plan.  Tune in for some hard hits, but get ready for a lot of punts.

Central Michigan's Dan LeFevour, the most prolific dual-threat QB in NCAA history

Bjorn: Every year the most depressing game is the fucking bowl they shove in the midst of the games every one cares about, The GMAC bowl. I don’t know whose idea it was, but no one mentions how crappy that game is, like we aren’t supposed to notice. You aren’t fooling anyone. ROAR.

The Picks!

(Red=Bjorn, Blue=Peter, Same=Bold black)

Outback Bowl: Northwestern v Auburn

Capital One Bowl: Penn State v LSU

Gator Bowl: West Virginia v FSU

Rose Bowl: Ohio State v Oregon

Sugar Bowl: Cincinnati v Florida

International Bowl: USF v Northern Illinois

Cotton Bowl: Oklahoma State v Ole Miss

Papa John’s Bowl: South Carolina v UCONN

Liberty Bowl: Arkansas v ECU

Alamo Bowl: Michigan State v. Texas Tech

Fiesta Bowl: TCU v Boise State

Orange Bowl: Ga Tech v Iowa

GMAC Bowl: Central Michigan v Troy

National Title Game: Texas v Bama

The Mind Grape Incubator

Bjorn and I have emerged with an unparalleled Bowl Extravaganza. Since there are so many bowl games, we are splitting our coverage into two posts. This particular post will be focusing on the pre-New Years games.

With historic bowls like the Cotton, Rose, and Sugar all occurring after the New year, there are many who consider the preceding games to be of a lesser quality.  To be certain, there are definitely some stinkers (Marshall v. Ohio, UCLA v. Temple).  Yet, the changing landscape of the game has provided the viewing public several (potentially) great match-ups, i.e. Oregon State v. BYU, Arizona v. Nebraska.

What Would Toby Do?

Anxiously Awaiting

Peter: Toby Gerhart versus the Oklahoma Sooner defense.  After finishing second in the closest Heisman race ever, it will be interesting to see how Toby performs.  I don’t really envision him having much success (especially if Mr. Luck isn’t healthy), but I’m definitely anxious to see how it turns out.

Bjorn: BYU in the Las Vegas bowl. Now this is going to be the first time a lot of these Morman boys have seen a pair of tits, and we all know a nice pair are never too far from a Beaver, so I reckon them cougar boys are going to be a bit more distracted come the night before the game. Bet on black (and orange)

Most Exciting Game

Peter: I suppose this depends on our definition of exciting, but could there be more two diametrically opposed teams than Air Force and Houston?  While the irony of the Air Force being such a committed running team has been brow beaten into the consciousness of every college football fan, the plain fact is that they can put up some points.  Should be an explosive game.  I haven’t checked the lines, but I imagine the over/under has to be approaching 75 points.

Bjorn: Air Force/Houston should be a good one and I think USC/BC should provide some entertainment as well. BC’s got a solid offense and despite their down year, USC always has a plethora of athletes on the field.

Welcome to Snoozeville

Most Depressing Game

Peter: Normally, this decision is based more on location than the teams themselves.  This year, however, the Little Caesar’s Bowl and the Humanitarian Bowl can rest easy.  I have to go with the Insight Bowl. While I think the mere fact that the Cyclones are in a bowl is laudable, I have no interest in this game.  After watching the Gophers a few times, I was left with an acrid taste in my mouth.  And the Cyclones, well…I still can’t think of them as anything beyond an also-ran.  Pardon me, but I’ll re-watch The Family Stone on FX instead.

Bjorn: Man, ain’t even a question, it’s Cyclones – Gophers. I say that with an enormous sense of regret as my American ancestry (like many other strong, good looking Norwegian-Americans) is rooted entirely in these two states. Our family farm that Ole Andreas Larson Tjernagel first broke North American soil on, is located just 50 miles north of Ames. A majority of my relatives from both sides reside in the Twin Cities. So take it from me, I’m unbiased dontchya know, stay away from this battle for the midwest.

The Picks!

(Peter=Blue, Bjorn=Red, Same=Black/Bold)

New Mexico Bowl: Fresno State v Wyoming
St. Petersburg Bowl: UCF v Rutgers
New Orleans Bowl: USM v MTSU
Las Vegas Bowl: Oregon State v BYU
Poinsettia Bowl: Utah v. California
Hawaii Bowl: Nevada v SMU
Little Caesars Bowl: Marshall v Ohio
Meineke Car Care Bowl: Pittsburgh v UNC
Emerald Bowl: BC v USC
Music City Bowl: Kentucky v Clemson
Independence Bowl: aTm v UGA
Eaglebank Bowl: UCLA v Temple
Champs Sports Bowl: Miami v Wisconsin
Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl: Bowling Green v Idaho
Holiday Bowl: Arizona v Nebraska
Armed Forces Bowl: Houston v Air Force
Sun Bowl: OU v Stanford
Texas Bowl: Navy v Mizzou
Insight Bowl: Minnesota v ISU
Chick-fil-A Bowl: VaTech v Tennessee

Tis’ the mother flippin’ season. Tell yer loved ones they aight.

The song that currently echoes in the back chambers of my brain: “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Read up on these fools, interesting story.

You may recognize the brunette with the bangs and viola from Airborne Toxic Event. This band is like a rolling snow ball of talented minstrels.

Would of preferred her Booty over Ingram

Now that Saturday’s games have ended, the focus is narrowed to the slate of bowl games on the horizon.  Though we will certainly be dissecting every bowl game in the near future, we have decided to throw Satchel Paige’s words of caution to the wind.  We are going to look back on the season before facing the bowl extravaganza.

Awards

Individual

Players of the Year

Offense

Peter: With all due respect for Colt, Tebow, Ingram, and even CJ Spiller, my vote for player of the year has to go to my man Mardy Gilyard.  Left field, I know.  But if you look at the stats (and I have), no one out on the field did more in fewer touches than Gilyard.  He averaged 18 yards a play.  18.

Slingin' balls like a baker slings dough

Bjorn: I’m going to go with Case Keenum. Much like the forgettable Texas Tech QB’s of the past 8 years, I don’t think we’ll be hearing about him in the pros. However, his numbers were too far ahead of the next guy to ignore. He threw the ball 75 times in one game this year, twice, and still boasted a 71% completion rate. Great college QB.

Defense

Peter: Call me a homer, but I have to go with Earl Thomas.  While I can understand some resistance to him winning the defensive player of the year award, it will be a travesty if he doesn’t take home the Thorpe award.  He is the type of dynamic player that doesn’t come along that often. His future will only be getting brighter.

Bjorn: It was a pleasure to watch Earl all year, but I’m going to go with Ndamukong Suh. Each team planned their schemes around stopping this guy yet he always had an incredible game. I’m still frightened by his performance in the Big 12 championship. His offense owes him an apology. Whether it was due to the ineptness of our offense linemen or our coaching, that was one of the greatest performances by a defensive player I’ve ever seen.

Biggest Surprise

Peter: Toby Gerhart.  You’ll have to excuse my past ignorance of Stanford football, but even after gaining more than 1,000 yards on the ground last year, this cat was a surprise.  He is definitely a legitimate Heisman contender and quite worthy of inclusion on the Downtown 5.  I’m very curious to see how his career in the NFL turns out.

Bjorn: Ditto. I had no idea such a beast lurked amongst the redwoods. His ypr were about the same last year, prob should’ve given it to him more Jim.

Biggest Letdown

Peter: Jevan Snead.  Oh, what a year can do to a prized quarterback under a few years of Houston Nutt “tutelage.”  Did anyone’s stock drop more than Mr. Snead?  Just a few months ago I was hearing talk about him being the number one QB prospect in the draft?  Now, I ain’t hearing anything at all.

Bjorn: Tim Tebow. Sam Bradford’s decision to play another year was still worse, but with his choice Tebow has erased any faith that he can be a qb in the league. Oh, and that plaque, with “the promise”? Tarnished.

Most Improved

Peter: There were plenty of folks ahead of him in passing efficiency this year, but they were all names you’d expect.  They were, in short, hot shot QBs.  Bill Stull, however, was not a hot shot last year.  Hell, with 10 ints to 9 tds, he wasn’t much of anything beyond the dude that gave the ball to LeSean McCoy.  This year was different.  Without McCoy, he had to step up.  And he did.  His passer rating shot up over 30%, he threw 21 tds to 8ints, and he raised his completion percentage over 7 points. Improvement, children…improvement.

Bjorn: Jerrod Johnson. He put up decent numbers last year, but this year’s were much better, and got them into a bowl game. With him at the helm, Aggies look poised to strike in 2010.

Some might say he "press-err-veered"

Coach of the Year

Peter: You can call it sentimental, but I am going to go with Randy Edsall.  Sure, the record doesn’t look like much, but no coach had to deal with more strife on or off the field than Coach Edsall.  After the tragic loss of a star player, the Huskies dropped three straight games.  And these were not just normal loses.  Without even taking into account the manner in which the games ended, they were achingly difficult losses to swallow: a combined ten points total.  One might assume that after suffering such emotional heartbreaks that a team might crumble under the depressing weight.  It is a testament to Coach Edsall and his program that the Connecticut Huskies did no such thing.  They took their lumps, difficult as they were, and came back to win three straight games against Notre Dame, Syracuse, and South Florida.  Now they are going bowling.

Bjorn:  Nick Saban. Winning at ‘Bama isn’t rare, but Saban has made the vaunted SEC tremble yet again and if he decides to stay put for more than 4 years, he could fall in line with some of the greats of that conference.

Team

Most Improved

Peter: There were a few candidates on my radar for this particular award, but at the end of the day I think you have to consider the achievements of the Stanford Cardinal.  With a bruising rushing attack and an adept freshman at QB, Coach Harbaugh has the Cardinal on the right track.  Last year they finished the season by dropping three straight.  They strung together one winning streak of two games.  This year? 8-4 with several solid victories against quality programs.  They should be a force in the Pac10 next year even with out the Great White Hope.

Bjorn: This category and the next are very similar. Unless the improvement was expected…either way, the Hawkeyes made quite a jump.

Biggest Surprise

Peter: Iowa? Yes, I hate to see them in a bowl game. Yes, I think they have no right to have won that many games or be in any position near a BCS game.  But, you have to give those pesky shits credit.  They won the ball games and exceeded our expectations. Touche, Ricky Stanzi…Touche.

Bjorn: Iowa was the biggest, but Cincinnati was right behind for me. The Big East is an underrated conference as far as competitiveness goes, and they survived it.

It never gets old...

Biggest Letdown

Peter: You would be forgiven for thinking that I was going to call out Ole Miss.  Instead, I’m just going to take this time to point out that our good friends from north of the Red River began the season at #3.

Bjorn: Hands down, OU.

Daddy gots to get paid!

The season has finally taken shape, the true money games are nigh, and the payouts for those winners, as always, are huge.  Running concurrently with that sentiment is the fact that the season is almost over and we’ll have to bide our time for eight months.  Thankfully, the slate of games this weekend look to be great.

Five Games

Oregon State v. Oregon

Peter: The weekend begins in earnest tonight.  As Thursday games go, there hasn’t been a bigger one all year.  Autzen Stadium, the Rose Bowl on the line?  It won’t get rowdier than this in Eugene.  The game seems like it might resemble the one played in College Station last week, that is lots and lots of points.  Depending on your perspective, last year’s loss to the Ducks was either about being unable to contain Masoli & Co or being unable to match them offensively without the Rodgers brothers.  This year, the most pertinent question: Can Canfield make it happen on the field?  He has shown all year he can play, but two of his worst outings of the year were in back-to-back losses to Arizona and Cincinnati.  To me, he is the most important piece of the puzzle.  But…I love my Ducks.

Bjorn:  Who would have bet at the beginning of the year that any of the end of the season rivalry games in the Pac-10 would be for the title? I guess if it was going to be any of them, it would have to be this one, but still, neat. Oregon just scores too many damn points, I don’t think the beavers can shave their way out of this one.

The true gunslinger

Cincinnati v. Pitt

Peter: A bit of the shine has worn off this game after Pitt lost to the Mountaineers in a field goal shoot-off.  I’ve never been good at math, but the stakes are still high in this one: winner gets a BCS berth.  The Bearcats have looked downright unstoppable on offense most of the year and I have a hard time believing that they won’t be prepared once again.  I’ll take Coach Kelly over the Mustachioed One any day.

Bjorn: Good lord Pitt’s last game was ugly. No team can lay an offensive egg like that against a mediocre defense and expect to keep up with the Meow-Roars, the TexasTech of the North. Someone with all black jerseys has to be good each year. It’s like a rule I just made.

Florida v. Alabama

Peter: Discounting the title game, one could argue that this has the potential to be the best game of the year: two talented and irreparably irascible coaches with titles under the belts, two power house running games, two stout defenses, and one Messiah.  Never been one for algorithms, but I’m pretty sure the math leads to greatness.  Personally, I think Tebow will be in tears after this game.  Not from physical pain, not from euphoria, but from the crushing emotional weight of a loss to the team from Tuscaloosa.  I think Saban will keep Florida (relatively) contained and focus on establishing the pace of the game on both sides of the ball with their front lines.

Bjorn: As much as I love a good ol’ saturday afternoon crucifixion, I’m afraid Tebow will keep his crown above water as he walks across the tide. Florida’s defense is fast enough, experienced enough,  and smart enough to stop the only 2 threats (Ingram and Jones) that Bama possesses. Both these teams seasons have been marked by strong defense and inconsistent offense, but Florida’s offense slightly less so. That will matter in this game. Gator eats ephelunt.

Ga. Tech v. Clemson

Don't forget to touch the rock!

Peter: Ah, the life of an also-ran conference…Until I started writing this column, I had completely forgotten the existence of the ACC title game.  Hell, I stopped caring about the conference itself somewhere in week four maybe.  This game should be a back and forth offensive explosion.  I think Georgia Tech is the better team, but in the ACC that rarely matters.  Since the dethronement of Bobby Bowden, it has been a conference that has prided itself on “wtf mate!?” moments.  Whether it’s excruciating losses to DII teams (I can’t get the new acronyms straight) or inexplicable performances from supposed top tier teams, the ACC is a bouncy ball come to life. You don’t which freaking way it’s going to go next.  So, in that spirit, give me Clemson or give me the remote.

Bjorn: Nobody beats the option man. What do you think this is, not 1952? Ga Tech ftw.

Texas v. Nebraska

Peter: Try saying “Ndamukong Suh” three times as fast as you can.  Now, try saying “Texas beats Nebraska 35-10″ three times as fast as you can.  There has been a general hubbub over the state of the Texas defense after last week’s performance against aTm.  Everyone seems to forget that a) it was a short week, b) Muschamp tried (and failed) to implement new schemes and c) Jerrod Johnson played lights out.  So, things to remember this week: a) Texas has plenty of time to prepare, b) whatever they are, Muschamp’s schemes will be working on Saturday  and c) QB Lee will not be dropping rainbow tears into the arms of streaking receivers.  What he will be doing, is crying real tears at the bottom of a giant pile of Longhorns.  I’ll be flabbergasted if the Horns are tested.

Bjorn: So the Aggies found our weakness, A big fast QB who can get outside the pocket and throw perfect shots to the sideline. The Huskers have 1 good receiver (seriously over half their passing yards) and everything else is on the ground. Obviously Suh is awesome, and his fellow DT Crick is impressive too. I’m sure they’ll get a sack or 2, but for the most part flushing Colt out of the pocket is only going to create havoc for the rest of the defense. Hook them.

Oh snap, Chapter 4 of WSM? Inflatable Ben thinks things are getting hot in hur.

Who Shot Mamba? – CH 4 from Lasterday Films on Vimeo.

Rest easy, gals...

The boys from College Station flirted with an upset by playing an almost pitch perfect game, but in the end fell short.  It was a perfect illustration of what underdogs across the land need to do.  No matter what, whether it’s the Tigers of Auburn or the Beavers of Oregon State, if you are converting on the vast majority of your 3rd down situations, you will put yourself in a position to win.  The question is, will any of the other underdogs fair a bit better than the Aggies?

Five Games

Alabama v. Auburn

Slow the deuce-deuce, and the Tigers have a shot

Ah…the vaunted Iron Bowl, a rivalry that has spawned countless stories and ever more countless fights between the fine citizens of Alabama.  Jordan-Hare will certainly be in full tilt.  The noise and passion of the fans will definitely factor into the game.  The intensity of the faithful will have to be matched by the Auburn defense.  Containing the running attack of the Tide should be priority number one for Chizik.  The most important match-up, however, will be the Bama D v. the Auburn O.  To have a chance against one of the top defenses in the nation, Auburn will have to have that spread offense clicking on all cylinders.  If it ain’t hummin’ along, it could end up being a long night for the Tiger faithful.  After hitting a tough stretch of mid-season games, they seemed to have once again regained their offensive footing…we’ll see if that pattern can continue.  I think they’ll need to hang at least 21 on the board to have a shot.

Pitt v. West Virginia

The Panthers have won the past two Backyard Brawls and have only one at least three in a row once (76-82, if my espn memory serves).  This is a tough spot for Pittsburgh.  Sure, it’s a rivalry game, but they have to be peeking slightly ahead to next week’s showdown with Cincinnati.   It took me awhile, but after seeing them live a few time, I’m sold on the Panthers.  Their QB (Stull) is downright impeccable as a passer, Dion Lewis has had the Panther faithful saying “LeSean who?” all season, and they have played solid defense throughout the year.  West Virginia, on the other hand, has been a crap shoot.  Predicting what team will appear from one week to the next leaves me a bit nonplussed.  A lot of folks are screaming upset here and it should be noted that the Panthers one loss this season came on the road, at night.  Nothing sweetens a sour season quite like upending a rival’s dreams of BCS bowling.  I’ll take the Panthers in a slug fest.

Florida State v. Florida

If anyone needs a pitch perfect game this weekend it will be Bobby Bowden’s Seminoles.  The elder statesman of Tallahassee hasn’t been able to crack the Gator code in six years.  Florida has seemed to operate on cruise control for most the year, easing past opponents one way or another, rarely taking much notice no matter the score.  With a match-up against Alabama looming, this could turn into a tricky match-up. Florida State certainly has the athletes to keep up with the Gators, but in the end I think the Gator D (with slight assists from the Big Man) will stifle the Seminole attack.  Look for things to start shaky on senior day for Tebow, but to end shaky for the Seminole’s Freshman QB, E.J. Manuel.

OSU v. OU

The allure of Bedlam has worn off a bit now that OU is set to making an appearance in the Sun Bowl.  It is, however, a very important game for a lot of other teams, especially the Broncos up in Boise.  Their hopes for an at large bid (assuming TCU wins out) largely rests on whether OU can knock the Cowboys out of at-large BCS contention on Saturday.  Sooner nation seems to be a despondent bunch after the piss poor offensive performances of the past three weeks.  There is nothing like a rivalry game, especially one so heated, to get the fan base hopping…especially if it means you can squash the dreams of those you hate.  The biggest question of the game is who will be starting at QB for Okie State.  After struggling to beat Colorado a week ago without Robinson, his availability seems paramount (despite the great performance from 3rd stringer Brandon Weeden, I think Poke nation would be happier with Robinson at the helm).  It is important to note that Mr. Stoops has only lost twice at home in the last decade: once to the Horned Frogs (05) and once to the Pokes (02, I think).  I’m rolling the dice. I like the Sooners D to contain the Pokes just enough.  Stoops by six.

Utah v. BYU

The Holy War!! Nowhere else can we find such great internecine war fare.  Nowhere else do Mormons so fiercely fight other Mormons.  Sure, it’s a fight for second place, but these games rarely disappoint.  There is usually great (read: inclement) weather and the games always seem to go down to the wire.  The teams seem to be fairly evenly matched.  Since the game is being played at BYU, most are favoring the Cougars to win.  Personally, I think that Utah is a slightly more well-rounded ball club.

Upset Specials!

What's it Taua?

There are several games to keep an eye on this weekend (particularly Miami v. USF and Ark v. LSU), but there are two that I find especially intriguing.  First, the Fightin’ Illini will be matching up against the Bearcats of Cincinnati.  With their game against Pittsburgh for the Big East title next week, many are touting this as a perfect trap game.  I don’t buy it.  Roll the dice if you want, but I think Coach Kelly has his team zeroed in on the Zook’ers.

I am, however, buying the Wolfpack of Nevada.  Playing on the blue turf is tough, but I think the three-headed rushing attack of Nevada will help control the ball and consistently put points on the board against Boise State.  Not only will they keep Kellen Moore off the field, but they’ll wear down the will of the Boise State defense.

Wha'happen?

Save for the Tree pounding the Trojans and the Tar Heels greasing by the Hurricanes, it was a very upset free weekend of college football.  And because the games don’t seem too terribly appealing this weekend, you can almost guarantee a wacky Saturday.

Two Cents

Peter: Have I related to anyone how much this late season pasty game irritates me?  It irritates the pee-waddlin’ out of me. I don’t know what pee-waddlin’ is, but my mom always said it…and it’s how these games make me feel.

Bjorn: Should have seen the stanford over usc game coming. Trojan horse was made of wood. Trees are made of wood.  Horse infiltrated Troy. Trees fell Trojans. Beets, Bears, Battlestar Gallactica.

Five Games

OSU v. Michigan

Peter: I don’t think there is anyway Michigan will be able to hang with Ohio State this weekend.  Sure, the Buckeye offense isn’t fooling anyone, but Michigan’s D seems to still be reading at a kindergarten level. I’ll take the Buckeyes suffocating D and give you 10.

Bjorn: Yea….OSU’s dick is in the box that is the Big 10. This game is merely the ribbon that will rest atop. The real question for Buckeye’s is: How did you lose to Purdue?

LSU v. Ole Miss

All he's gotta do is press turbo

Peter: Despite what the mathematical scheduling patterns may indicate, if I were Les Miles, I would be a bit frightened by the Rebels.  They have nothing to lose and seem to have finally figured out that they are a solid offensive team.  As horrible as LSU’s offense has looked the past few weeks, I’m not so certain the Rebels won’t win big here.

Bjorn: The Klan is throwing a rally at Ole’Miss in protest that they no longer salute a certain flag. That’s probably good for the morale of their 99% black football team. Sneeze will be sacked 9 times as LSU wins 9-3.

Oregon v. Zona

Peter: Oregon is neck and neck with the vaunted Trees from Palo Alto for the Pac1o title.  They have been known to choke away conference games at the most inopportune times, I imagine Quack Nation is praying this won’t be the pattern on Saturday.  Arizona’s fate hangs in the balance.  They are 5-0 at home, but could be without their stud RB Nic Grigsby.  If he’s gone, the pressure will be squarely centered on the arm of QB Nick Foles.  I’m going to take the Wildcats by a field goal at home.

Bjorn: Peter, chew so crayzee mayne! I know you’ve seen this:

California v. Stanford

Peter: This seems to be a match-up of cajones.  In the past, California has always wilted against stiff (no pun intended) competition.  Whereas Stanford, in the short tenure of Coach Harbaugh has seemed to rise to the competition.  With two huge victories over Oregon and USC, the onus is once again on the Cardinals.  Their hopes for a Pac10 title hangs in the balance.  I’ve been caught betting against them for too long now.  I’ll take the Cardinals.

Bjorn: South Bay over East Bay

Kansas v. Texas

Phoca Vitulina

Peter: If you needed an illustration of how poor the slate of games are this weekend, look no further than your Saturday night game of the week.  Somehow Texas v. Kansas is the prime time game of the weekend with a four touchdown spread.  Who knows if it will get that ugly, but it will certainly be a moral victory if the Jayhawks can get that close.  The Fightin’ McFats are going down.  I’ll take 24 pts.

Bjorn: Colt et al’s final game in DKR. Tear. I’ll be there to bid adieu to the winningest starting QB in college football history. Holla. Oh yea, and if you get upset when that guy-> makes fun of you…..c’maan.

Upset Specials

Peter: It always feels good to pick a winner (UCF over Houston), but it also ratchets up the pressure to perform the next week.  So here I am, searching for another upset special.  Last week I delved into the furrows of Florida, this week I’ll mine Michigan…The Nittany Lions will be coming to down, but the Spartans will be finishing 7-5 on the year.

Bjorn: While after the fact, East Carolina called and they are upset at Peter for being one of three (1, 2, 3) schools in D-1 football whose location he could not name. That on the day they beat the Golden Hurricane!

As promised, and anticipated no doubt, Chapters 2 and 3 of Who Shot Mamba?

Who Shot Mamba? – CH 2 from Lasterday Films on Vimeo.

Who Shot Mamba? – CH 3 from Lasterday Films on Vimeo.

Have a great weekend. If you are in Austin, holler. As Mr. Cheezle said: Good things are happening.

Five Games

West Virginia v. Cincinnati

Can the high-flying Bearcats be stopped?

Peter: This Friday night game is rife with implication.  While the chance at a BCS berth obviously hangs in the balance, the Bearcats are still clinging tightly to dreams of a National Title berth.  Can they come through? With uncertainty revolving around the starting QB, can the Bearcats remain focused?  I think they can.  West Virginia is by no means a defensive behemoth.  In years past one could argue that they would be able to match them point for point.  Unfortunately for the Mountaineers, this ain’t years past.  I think the Bearcats continue to roll along towards their match-up with the Pitt Panthers next month.

Bjorn: Dang, I wish I could watch this game. It’d be the first Catbear game of any substance that I would have seen.  Oh well, I don’t trust mountaineers for anything except moonshine and banjo pluckin. Meow Roar!!!!

Iowa v. Ohio State

Peter: A bit of the shine has worn away here after the Hawkeyes were finally introduced to reality: they are an average team with a solid defense and a lot of luck.  This game figures to be a low-scoring affair since both defense are quite stout.  However, with two somewhat mistake QBs at the helm, this game could quickly evolve into a quagmire of offensive futility and defensive fireworks.  I’ll take the gifted athlete over the farm boy.  Ohio State cements their status as the eventual Big 11 Champ on Saturday.

Bjorn: I think this game will end in a tie. The network will kill the feed and the fans will leave after 4 and a half hours with no decision. That’s how miserable these two offenses are and how “great” their defenses are. I this week that the Columbus police, when called about some issue, have been telling citizens of the city that if they don’t like it, they can move. I predict the fans in the horseshoe will heed this advice.

Just a Rollin' & Ramblin'

Stanford v. USC

Peter: Will the White-Boy Express continue to chug along against the vaunted Trojan defense?  I’ve doubted Toby too much and issued an apology for it.  With USC struggling offensively, their shot at winning will come only if they can stop the Stanford running attack.  Ironically, this game should resemble a slug-fest more on par with what you’d expect to see on a Saturday night in the conference that shall not be named. As much as I want Stanford to win, I’ll take the Trojans.

Bjorn: Agreed again. Our only hope is a sudden outbreak of some sort of STD on the USC squad.

Notre Dame v. Pittsburgh

Peter: For too long I’ve resisted the lure of the Pitt Panthers this year.  After watching them a few times, I’m convinced they are a legit team.  In simple terms, Bill Stull is one of the best quarterbacks in the country…and the vast majority of the country probably hasn’t even heard of him.  When you throw the diminutive Dion Lewis into the mix, you have one potent offense.  While Pitt has been chugging along, Notre Dame, on the other hand, is coming off an upset at the hands of a service academy.  Will they bounce back?  Nothing that I’ve seen leaves me with much confidence that they can.  I’ll take Steel town here.

Bjorn: Agreed. I’m sure Weis has spent more time dodging the AD and the sun than coaching. What kind of week did the players have going to “class”. A shameful one. Even touchdown Jesus wants nothing to do with these clowns, and he touches lepers and shit.

Utah v. TCU

Don't Mess w/Texas Christians...

Peter: Once again the Horned Frogs have the marquee match-up of the weekend.  With a win against the Utes, TCU will have a clear path towards a BCS berth and, with the occurrence of utter improbabilities, a path towards the title game (if you dream, you might as well dream big, right?).  While the game itself is huge, fashion will also be a major portion of the game.  Nike has announced that TCU will be donning their new Pro-Combat style uniforms.  With pants that resemble a Horned Frog’s skin and a thin red helmet line symbolizing the blood shooting defense mechanism of the animal, the uniforms are guaranteed to cause a splash (To check out the uniform features, click here and scroll to the slide show).  Fashion aside, TCU is a damn good football team.  With their speed ends, the defense gets amazing pressure on opposing teams.  Chaos ensues…offenses falter.  In addition to this, the mighty Purple have been getting great (and balanced) production on offense, racking up almost 35 points a game.  Frogs up!

Bjorn: Ribbit.

Upset Specials

Peter: There are a lot of intriguing possibilities this weekend.  Since two of these are in the conference that shall not be named, I will have to go with two somewhat left-field games to keep an eye on.  First, Boise State has to face a resurgent instate rival.  Second, I think that the Houston Cougars could once again be in trouble.  They will be on the road at Central Florida facing a stout defense.

Bjorn: Um, Gators at the Recreation-chickens? The Florida offense has shown a distinct ability to sputter, and on the road against an offense that has shown it can make big plays, they may find themselves in an early hole.

Your entertainment for the week is care of our delightfully insane internet friend Brian. (you may remember his guest posting a while back)

The first chapter to his movie Who Shot Mamba? has FINALLY been posted to the interwebs.

Who Shot Mamba? – CH 1 from Lasterday Films on Vimeo.

I am speechless……but not typeless. Brian’s innate obsession with action movies and their memes along with his odd brand of humor playing off of them comes together for an entertaining spectacle. I think there is something to do with basketballing too. The other chapters will be posted here as they come out.

What comes after "BOOMER!" Billy?

the story of the weekend were the marquee match-ups between historical power houses.  Interestingly, in each one of these match-ups save one, the underdog came out on top…just like the did everywhere else.  Happiness reigned in Columbus, Palo Alto, Evanston, Lincoln, Corvallis, and Annapolis.

Highs and Lows

The Moon: Mr. Gerhart, please accept my sincerest apologies.  I thought that Oregon would certainly stuff you at the line and you proved me wrong.  You ran for 223 yards on 38 carries (for the less than astute, that’s an average of 5.9 yards per carry).  In addition to this, you had three touchdowns.  Color me impressed, sir. Have I mentioned how frustrating these random mid-season games against

The Mustache Man couldn't come through on Saturday Night

& the Sixpence: Oklahoma and Nebraska both fall in this category.  Never has a game wallowed in such futility. Mustache Jones threw five interceptions while the Cornhusker QBs combined for a whopping 39 yards passing.  Such depths this game has never known.

Week Ten Surprises

Peter: Navy, Navy, Navy…Definitely didn’t see that one coming.  Neither team could exactly stop the other, but Navy stopped the Irish when it counted most (0 for 2 on 4th downs).  In addition to this, the Midshipmen took care of the ball (0 turnovers) while the Irish did not (3 turnovers).  These things added up to a win.

Bjorn: Maybe it’s an effort to legitimize our biggest football rivalry and toughest game of the year thus far, but I still expect OU to win when they take the field. It’s downright shocking to me to see them fall to such a hapless offense such as Nebraska’s. Those big tackles from Nebraska sure were impressive though. If I could pronounce it correctly, I’d say that Ndamukong Suh is a name we’ll be saying for many years to come.

Biggest Win of the Weekend

No else could believe you won either, Jimbo...Still can't.

Peter: With their win in Happy Valley, Ohio State effectively controls its destiny in the Big Ten race.  Their defense dominated Paterno & Co while Pryor put in a game more in line with the expectations of Buckeye nation.  After a rocky start to the season, OSU seems to have found their footing.  As long as the stifling defense continues in unison with mistake free play from Pryor, they’ll be a hard win for anyone.

Bjorn: I’ll swap pedro’s choices here. Alabamy again, somehow eeks out of a sticky situation. As bad as ‘bama’s offense has looked, they should have 2 options: 1) run up the middle 2) when the defense loads the box, throw to Jewleeoh Jonez in 1v1 coverage.  SEC championship is looming, who will the refs favor?? I just don’t know!! (Tebow winks and makes sign of the cross)

Letdown of the Weekend

Peter: Alabama’s victory over LSU proved (once again) just how poor the officiating in the SEC can be.  How they could declare that interception null is beyond me.  It (in conjunction with Bama controlling the line on each side of the ball) certainly helped sink the Tigers’ ship and seal up the SEC West for Alabama.

Bjorn: I’ll call Penn State the let down of the week. Not because I care about Nittania or sweater vests, but because my friend Matt Butler went all the way to College Town, USA to cheer on the best jerseys in football. He’s pretty good at being indifferent, so I’m sure it worked out ok, but his trip would have been bolstered by cheerful hosts rather than forlorn ones.

The video for the week is not a musical bit, although it does play my heart strings.

That’s Elizabeth Lambert doing the heavy hitting. Unfortunately she was not on facebook :(. BUT, the object of her abuse throughout the game, the lovely blonde Carlee Payne, was on. She is a freshman at BYU, won the 2009 player of the year award, and apparently takes a while to respond to friend requests. I even sent along a message!

Hello. i would like to offer my services as a body guard/ hit man to protect you from the likes of Lobos.

I will make sure that your future is free from hair pulling, cheap punches and balls to the face.

If you need references I can supply you with a list of people who have been protected by me and who i suspect i have intimidated.

Thank you for your time, and good luck in the rest of the tournament.

We’ll see what happens…